Have you ever /listened/ to the first 6 tracks on Eve 6 - Horrorscope? That's what I feel.

Have you ever felt as though your soul was ripped from your chest by the coldness?

Misunderstanding.

Cold.

Stupid.

Pain.

Run.

Away.

Stop.

No Escape.

Nowhere to run.

Nowhere to hide.

Pain.

Real.


I need someone to talk to, does it show?
Words cannot express the pain I feel.
A pain that's caused, again and again.
It's not the first time.
I know it wont be the last.
There is no language severe enough.
No expletive strong enough.
Words cannot possibly explain.
How much pain there is inside.
Self forgetfulness is the only answer.

"You're getting closer
to pushing me off of life's little ledge
cos I'm a loser
and sooner or later
You know I'll be dead."
-Loser, 3dd.

I think this is possibly the worst feeling I could have about anyone. I honestly do not care. It's not even important enough to take her pictures off my wall. Or out of my wallet. There is /nothing/ I desire to do about it. It's as if the pictures are simply another unnoticed piece of my wall, wallet, wherever. Another unnoticed pixel on my monitor. I could probably change that, if I desired. But I don't right now. And I don't think I will any time soon.

Once I thought she was important. She still is to someone. But to me, it's is effectively as if she ceased to exist. And that's bad. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Usually there's some love left or something. But no.. nothing.

Nothing.