Monday, November 05, 2007

Used and Abused.

So... I have a slight issue, I suppose. A question to pose, if you will. Of a type and sort.

I've noticed that I've had the singular experience of being used by very nearly every girl that I've been in contact with.

Why do I say that (especially since some of them even read this)?

Simple. I am almost always just used for my empathy. When someone is feeling down or depressed, or someone has wronged her, I'm there, as a listening ear. Sometimes I tend to know how she feels, because I've been through a similar circumstance.

So I console her in her grief, and help her understand, and all that good stuff.

Then guess what?

Yep, I'm left to the dogs. Friends? Huh, who needs me, when they have their abusive ex? Who needs me when they have their self hatred? Who needs me when they have masquerade friends? (You know, the kind who all wear masks that says they care, but they really are more worried about their own desires)

It's pretty lame. Also it's very hard for me to trust because of that. Or rather, I trust perfectly fine - I trust that if I offer you a shoulder to cry on, the second whomever hurt you offers his shoulder again, you're on it like white on rice. Or those jerks who make no effort for you...

So where does that put me? Because I'm seriously sick of it all. I suppose I could just go be a hermit in the mountains somewhere. But with my luck I'll probably end out getting eaten by a mountain lion. Actually, no, it wouldn't bother eating me, it would just tear my heart out.


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