Saturday, January 26, 2008

I See Dead People!

Of all the times for a zombie attack, it had to come while I was watching "Sixth Sense"!

It happened a little something like this...

It was your average Tuesday afternoon. I had just come home from classes at college. We were learning about dirty bombs in my Chemistry class. Pretty cool stuff - all about radiation and that stuff. Neither my parents or younger brother were home, so I just grabbed a bowl of ice cream and headed upstairs to watch Sixth Sense. I'm sitting there on the couch with my back to the door, right? Dressed in my old Hobby Lobby polo style shirt, cargo pants, boots and ascot, just winding down after a day of classes when my olfactory was assaulted by the most hideous scent I have ever smelled. It was like someone DIED! Of course I guess someone did.

You know, in all those movies, they never prepared me for how bad a zombie would smell. He wasn't even halfway up the stairs before I just about choked! Got up and walked around the couch, and just as soon as I stepped into the doorway, that kid says, "I see dead people!" And there lurching up my staircase was a dead people. Do they prefer to be called dead people? Is that the political correct term for them or something?

Not that I care, I was just curious.

So this corpse, he had about half a head of hair, and only one arm. His skin was peeling off like he had a horrible sunburn... The first thing I thought was There is no way this is actually happening! My second thought was Oh heck, this is gonna be sweet! That is, if I could survive long enough...

I quickly made an assessment of my available weaponry. Upstairs? I thought I was screwed, and then I remembered the pole that we use for hanging shirts on. Whipping out my pocket knife as I moved back into the room and to the right, I reached up and grabbed the bar, cutting it free from the straps that held it to the ceiling. I turned around just as the zombie came through the door. I'll call him Fred, I thought. Then I yelled, "Die, Fred!" as I speared him in the face with the hollow pole.

The sensation was not unlike piercing a watermelon with a pipe. I only know this because I tried that later. He gave a gurgling growl, and then began vomiting some glowing blue... gel is the best word for it. I pushed him back up against the wall, pinning him there with my pipe as he convulsed and then... died? He stopped moving in any case. Kicking Fred's carcass off the end of my improvised spear, I felt my ice cream come up. After I vomited all over his carcass, I began taking stock of my situation.

My house wouldn't be easily defended. I'd need a better location, preferably one with guns. Lots of guns. At least I had my swords and some knives. I creeped downstairs, my pipe spear at the ready. I could hear my heart beating as I warily made it down the stairs to my living room. Two pianos on one side would make any fight here a close quarters one. And with my spear I would need open ground. The first thing I noticed was the front door was wide open, which told me how Fred got inside. I turned right and headed down the hall towards my bedroom, first checking my brothers room, my sisters (who was out of state at college) room, and the bathroom. Nothing.

Quickly I grabbed my case of knives, my bag with my rain gear, some rope, and both my swords. They were slightly functional, and I hoped they'd do the job. I also hoped I wouldn't need them soon. Slowly I made my way through the kitchen, and out the door to my car. It was abnormally quiet outside. Quickly I stuffed my load in my car, keeping a belt knife and a sword. I ran back inside and locked the front door, and grabbed some food, a bottle of apple juice, and my knife sharpening supplies. I had a feeling I'd be needing those. I locked up and left a hastily scribbled note.

Mom, Dad, Bro - dead (or re dead?) zombie upstairs. I'm safe, I've gone to get tools. Try my cell. I'll be back here at 6:30 sharp!

To be continued...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...


I love how you ignore me now.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous geekheart said...

quite intiguing...i cant wait for the continuation...:P

9:42 AM  

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