Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Story Time!


"You have got to be kidding me!" I thought to myself as I sprinted out the door. "Really? Zombies? I mean, really?"

At 6'2", 185 pounds, dirty blond hair, and blue eyes, I really didn't consider myself "fit" so much as "not out of shape." However, I was never much of a sprinter, although running for my life gave me a little boost of stamina. Luckily, just like the movies, these zombies were slow. I counted four or five of them. This is what I get for working over spring break! At least the campus was empty. With the regular state of affairs on campus, a zombie outbreak would probably spread like wildfire. As it was, there was a handful of zombies chasing me, but no one else. After I put a few hundred feet between us, I began slowing, looking around for any resources.

I wasn't sure I wanted to go back for my bike - I had parked it in front of the Student Center and that's where we came from. I was carrying my Gerber multi-tool so that was +1 for me. I was also wearing my running shoes instead of sandals. But with more than one zombie, I was going to need something to increase my range... I almost tripped over it - a rock about the size of a baseball in the middle of alumni circle.

Turning back to the small cluster of zombies, I thought to myself I still can't believe it. Hefting the rock, I readied myself to throw. I'd let them get within about 50 ft, then let it rip.

"ThWUNK-SPLATT!", it sounded like an overly ripe watermelon. As its head burst open, the other zombies paused, sniffing around the air. Unfortunately I was down wind, and they smelled aweful. It's really to describe the stench of rotting flesh without using the term "rotting flesh". And boy was it pungent. I turned and ran, trying to get a breath of fresh air so I wouldn't puke my guts out. After about a hundred more feet I looked back, and was surprised at what I saw. They're not following me... I wasn't sure why until I realized - I'm downwind... and... Ewwww! I guess zombie brains taste good enough! They were scooping up handfuls of mush off the ground, slurping it up. After weighing my options I decided that I really needed my bike, so I started to circle around, keeping my eye out for more rocks... and more zombies.

The wind had stopped, and those zombies were still feeding when I reached my bike and unlocked it, wrapping the cable up, thinking I might have a use for it soon. That's when I felt my pants vibrate. If I were trying to look brave, I'd tell you that nothing happened, but I was so high strung that I practically jumped out of my shorts before I realized it was my cell phone - it was my wife calling. The tone seemed to echo across the empty campus before I could answer. "Hello?" I asked nervously and a bit too quiet. "Are you OK, honey?" my wife asked. "I'm okay, are you okay??" I asked, almost shouting. Then I noticed the zombies had started moving in my direction... not with purpose, it seemed, but more curiosity. "I'm fine," She replied, sounding a little confused, "What's going on?"

"Zombies," I replied as I jumped on my bike and started pedaling towards home. "I know it sounds crazy, and you probably think I'm joking," I said, cutting her off, "But I'm serious. About five of them came after me... I'm pretty sure I killed one of them. I threw a rock and hit his head. At least I think it was a he. I've gotta swing by the house to grab the car and some quick supplies." Doing some quick mental calculations I asked, "Will you be alright for 10 minutes at the day care? Or should I come pick you up first? I'm not sure what to do about the kids... Should I pick up the girls on my way to get you?"

I tried to ride a little slower while I was talking to eliminate wind. I took off when I was done talking, pumping as hard as I could while I listened. I thought that I had a good tactical mind, I thought as she explained her plan, but my goodness that woman has a mind!. I listened in admiration. She would bar the windows and doors, and get the big knives from the kitchen in easy reach while I grabbed the car and some quick supplies and picked up the girls. "I'll call you as soon as I'm home, honey. If I don't call in 5, call me back!" "Be careful, I love you!" "I love you too."

As I focused on my ride I was struck by the thought: It's too quiet... eerie even! Not a car on the road.

It only took a few minutes to make it to our house, and I called her back. A sense of dread filled my stomach with each extra second the phone rang. Tears pricked at my eyes as I got off my bike and pulled out my knife.

To be continued!

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Why oh why does it feel like Wednesday? Can you please answer me that?

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Monday, August 11, 2008

From the Onion

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Am I the only one who seriously laughed at the quote from the little girl? Ah, the Onion... yay for satire

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Tuesday, August 05, 2008


So I was just thinking... you know what the new consoles need? Double Dragon style games! They have some *sorts* of similar games... but it would be awesome to have some more free form games with the polish of like, Soul Caliber et al.

Anyway... if you see something like that appear, remember, you saw it here first!

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