Monday, April 30, 2007


Admitting of no doubt or misunderstanding; having only one meaning or interpretation and leading to only one conclusion.

Tonight's post is about someone specific (though I'm not sure if she'll actually read this). I'm not going to tell you who, or even that it's not about you, because really it doesn't matter.

If you think this is about you, then it's a good sign you should fix something.

I found out that I wasn't properly informed when you asked me. That doesn't do good things for my trust of your gender. So please realize that! Your actions reflect not only on yourself, but on all girls. Especially when you are one that's telling me "Oh, there's a girl for you!"

When you try to excuse your actions by not giving your friends the whole picture... guess what? That's dishonesty. It's one thing to come up with a completely "hypothetical" situation, that by some random "coincidence" happens to be exactly like yours.

But do you really think that what you're doing is right and good? I'm pretty sure you know better! So why are you acting like you don't? Or rather...

Why are you compromising your integrity?

I was suspicious, earlier. You just glossed over a question, and I had my doubts and concerns. Then I confirmed them, and I know that you already knew how I would feel about it. The way you told me, hoping I wouldn't pay close attention to what you said.

But I did.

And to make sure you know, I'm telling you now, unequivocally, I completely disapprove of your actions. I know at least one of your friends would, too. Probably more.

Honestly, when I confirmed my doubts... I was angry at your actions. I still am. Why am I angry? Because I know you're smarter than that! My goodness woman! I cannot and will not believe for one second that you actually think that it's a good idea!

I'm hurt as well. Because I care about you. But you are not the example that you should be.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm not saying I don't do dumb things. Trust me, I do plenty of those. But my shortcomings, and my problems are mine. If you have a problem with them, if you disprove of my actions, by all means, please tell me!

But I beg of you - right yourself.



Oh. My. HECK!

What a good book! Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer.

Let me just say - Vampires and romance. Oh, and while we're at it, throw in a little mystery and murder...

freak freak freak! I want to read the next one! AHAHHHHHHHH! lol...

Yeah I loved it, can't you tell?

Also, I had a weird dream last night... But I'm not going to tell you about it because it's really none of your business, so HA!

Read Twilight. It's too good to /not/ read.

Friday, April 27, 2007


So I went with the 'rents and timmeh to the APCS performance of "And then there were none", an Agatha Christie play. It was rather good.

I was combing my hair (really scratching my head) with my plastic fork because it felt sooo goood...

and one of the kids I subbed for asked why I was doing that...

well because that's what you do with a dinglehopper!

On another note, (or the same one? hmmm) someone asked me the other day, "Well what IS the perfect girl?" or something to that effect...

and before I get on with it, just letting you know - I'm having a smallish garage sale tomorrow morning. Eeeh ho lay (or however it's spelled...).

So, back to the story... or what makes a girl wonderful... or what I need/want in a girl.

Well, these are in no particular order, other than the order I think about them - not necessarily any more or less important than any other reasons.

A belief in God is rather important to me. Also, she needs to have a beautiful smile. She needs to know that she is beautiful. She may not think she is, but she has to know that I know she is, and more importantly, not complain to me that "Oh, I'm so ."

I want someone that if she wants something, she'll ask, instead of playing games.
I want someone who loves life, loves outdoors, and loves guns and knives.

I want a girl who knows what it's like to fall asleep at the computer. I want a girl that's healthy. I want a girl who loves music and (by way of explanation, I fell asleep, woke up, had a garage sale, and now it's 9PM again...) can at least play one instrument, and wants to learn more.

I want a girl who has the singularly unique quality (in women) to be able to treat something as though it never happened. To illustrate... if someone wrongs me, say... a girl betrays my trust, but then she apologizes and changes her behaviour... it never happened. And I'm fully capable of treating her that way... and I'd like the same.

I want a girl who will NOT bring up any past argument, mistake, blah blah blah. If there's a problem, it has to be dealt with in the present. Once there is another problem, the first one is null and void - sort of like double jeopardy (see the US constitution)...

well that's a few things to chew on for now.

I made $30 at my garage sale. w00t.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I am in awe. I have witnessed quite possibly the most inspiring performance i will ever see in my life. Alexander markov. Amazing!

This mobile text message is brought to you by Cingular, now the new AT&T

I can't remember...

what someone wanted me to write about...


Sunday, April 22, 2007

I had a dream...

I dreamed about you last night.

You responded, and said, "I need you to be my Bilbo Baggins, but you're Saruman to me."

If my dream was correct...

I apologize.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Something by someone

I saw you today,
with a look in your eye.
What is that look?
It's hard,
like a diamond.
It's sharp,
like a winter's wind, cutting into my heart.

Why did you look at me that way?
What have I done,
to make you feel like that?
Is it my fault?

Did I do something to you?
Was I not kind enough?
Not good enough?
Have I not been patient?

Why do you look at me so?
Why do you kill me with your eyes?
Or the love I had for you...
that you cut out,
with your glare,
and left bleeding there.

Is that your answer?
Is that what you wanted?
The death of my love?
So you can be alone,
and feel justified,
for your sadness?

Or do I misunderstand?
Is it even me?
Is it even you?
Or was it the circumstance
in which we met?

Or do you lock your heart?
To keep from complicating things?
Do you think you must wait?
Was it who I was with?
Was it a sadness,
turned to coldness,
and hardness,
to keep you from breaking again?

Was it a fear of uncertainty,
about the future,
and your heart?

I saw you today,
with a look in your eyes,
that filled me with questions,

and left me with pain.

Drying Technique...

So, just because I'm allowed to be random, I'm going to share a technique for drying yourself off, after a shower. (or bath, or swimming... whatever).

I came across this when someone (probably a sibling) (probably) used my towel before me. In any case, it was rather damp, and I doubted I would be able to get that much water off of my person.

So what you do, is once you've turned off the shower, rather than stepping out you just use your hands, for all practical purposes, like a squeegee. Kinda like you're dusting yourself off. I briskly "dust" my arms, torso, and legs. This actually removes most of the water. Then you just towel off like normal. The other benefit of this is if you're the kind of person who leaves... puddles, this will take care of that, pretty much. Also, toweling off in the tub basically removes the puddles.

Well, that's really it for today. I really need to do a lot of reading/study/blah/blah stuff. So, have fun.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Random thoughts.

There's no one specifically.

The way that was phrased sounded really creepy.

and I don't have any interest in anyone that I know. For now. Check back in a few years or something, and maybe that will change...

But way more cool than that is this program called Open Canvas 1.1. It pretty much rocks my socks off. I'll soon have to draw something with it and then post it so you can see, because, hey, it's cool! lol.

Well, I have to go do some work on the student center webpage now.


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Saturday, April 14, 2007

Heilige Kuh!

Jessie posted in her blog... on the 3rd. I'm rather amazed, actually. (as you notice, it's not the 3rd, so you can see that I haven't been checking that often...)

Well... yes. That's all I have to say. And I'm not sure what about spring break she's sorry for, but... eh, ya know?


I may not be there for you Jessie, but I am your friend.

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Massages and Gladys Knight.

So I went to a Gladys Knight concert... it pretty much rocked. It was at UCA... I was pretty impressed.

On another note...

probably one of B-flat...

I had the opportunity to give a friend of mine a massage... she wasn't feeling good and her back was sore. Well, I actually really enjoy giving massages, and gave her one (it was the first I'd given in over 2 years). I guess I haven't lost my knack or anything, she rather enjoyed it.

I really need someone I can be with./span> Someone that I can have that physical contact with, and just be with. Eh... I doubt that's working well, so never mind, if it didn't make any sense...

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Nice Donkey

So... Friday. I was at UCA, headed back to my car when I get to the street. As I stop and wait, this rather attractive girl crosses the street from the other side as this BMW goes along. In it were three college-aged, male students. One in the back seat called out to this girl, "Nice !"

I couldn't help myself.

I yelled back at them, "Thanks!"

Bad dreams...

So I had a couple of weird dreams last night. In one, I was late for math class, and someone else was teaching it, and I ended out taking my laptop apart and it all sucked...

I also had some weird dream where my like... 40 year old wife, I found out she had actually killed my girlfriend, so I married her, then I found out that she had done that, so then she wants to kill me... and somehow, I'm all nearly knocked out and laying on the ground, dying, or something, and she comes up to me, about to deliver the fatal blow - and like on all movies, she's talking to me, giving me some chance to recover. And of course, I have a knife on me, which I slipped into my hand... and as she bends over to talk to me, I roll over and shove it right into her stomach. Since it's a throwing knife, it's long enough, and there aren't really any hangups, that I push it all 6 or 8 inches into her. And somehow around then it turned into my brother's girlfriend.

That was the bad part.

Anyhoo... weird dreams.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

A new desk.

I made one. Just yesterday.

Today has been swell...

Happy easter, to those of you who read this thing.

I have to poo.

Well, ttyl, Me

Sunday, April 01, 2007


So, I've reached a decision.

After school is out, I'm pretty much gonna disappear to all but my family. I'm going to move out of state and go to a different college.


Well, I just feel like it's time to start over. Things haven't been going that well for me. Life hasn't been as great as I think it should be, so I'm going to go make it that way. And I think some of you may be holding me back. Sorry to say it, but I really do think so.

I just feel that I'm kinda a third wheel with everyone I encounter - or I just don't care that much about them. I just feel that I'm... stuck. Being around the people I am, I'm stuck being who I am - who isn't who I've been, or who I want to be. I really just can't take it anymore.

You can still e-mail me, or whatever, I'll check them, but I won't be responding to any of them, most likely.

Basically I've been thinking about this for a few months, but I've never really had a reason to actually /do/ it. I've just kinda... chilled at home. But I'm done with that.

Maybe I'll be back, like, after I finish my schooling. That'll be... 3.5 years from now? 4 years? Something to that effect. Of course, maybe I'll land a sweet job, doing something I love to do. Which would also rock. Maybe I'll find some friends that I really like, and I feel like I'm a friend to them, and not just... someone who's taking up space. Maybe I'll find people who treat me better than just someone they don't hate. People who really /want/ me and care about me, and I like them, too.

I suppose I have one last thing to say, in this, my final post to you.