Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I am so seriously pissed off my rocker!

"Why?" you ask?

Simple. I'm supposed to have a 5 page draft for my writing 1310 assignment, and I DON'T HAVE HALF A PAGE YET!!!!

Nothing sounds right when I'm making a stupid introduction - and that's exactly what it is! Stupid! Nothing I write seems to make a single bit of sense! I think it's a total load of crap!

We're supposed to be writing about two short stories and the culture change, or diaspora. If I had a way to interpret culture that didn't sound like a complete load of garbage, I'd be able to write something. But I can't. Nothing that I have sounds like anything but a bleeping load of bleeping bleepity bleep bleep!!!

I cannot define culture! And in saying that I define it, and it's bull droppings! My problem isn't in the stories, or the writing, or composition - it's the whole flipping introduction and all that whole idea as it pertains to the stories. I don't know HOW I want to interpret these stories, and that's my problem.

What's a unique way of looking at them? I don't freaking know! I can't even look at them with the ideals of someone else. Stupid paradoxes coming out of my mind are so frustrating. I want to go break something or SOMETHING until I release this severe frustration that writing this has so totally and utterly FAILED to release.


good night.



Monday, February 26, 2007

So I had another really WEIRD dream last night.

I was back in Idaho... and was at someone's house. I can't remember what we did first, but I remember being in the kitchen and we were drinking juice or milk (I had juice) and then I was in the bathroom. There was a diamond (or cubic zirconia...) ring that I thought about taking. But I didn't. And then I was in this barn and some kids were trying to kill me. With a crossbow and BB guns. But I was going to kill them back. It was actually pretty fun. I had a desert eagle. It was pretty cool because the kids were kids from the charter school. But I couldn't kill them, so that was sad, just escaped, and then for some reason I wasn't wearing pants.

It was a really weird dream. That's one of those dreams you wake up going going 'what the heck??'

And that's exactly what I did.

what. the. heck.



Sunday, February 25, 2007

Why is my stomach in knots?
Why do I feel like puking
whenever I talk to her?

Online, I feel that way
On the phone, it's not the same.

Every time I talk to her,
I feel the same way.
Like I ran into a pole,
that hit me in my gut.

My muscles tighten,
my throat constricts,
and my eyes begin to burn.

And then thoughts begin to run through my head.
Is it me?
Did I hurt?
Is she afraid of what I will do?

Would I be better off dead?
Do I really care anymore?
Is that why it hurts?
Because my love for her has gone away?
Because I know that we'll never have what I thought we had?

And every time we talk, I just get like this.
Weepy, mopey... just totally blah.


You know... I don't know why I even bother sometimes. Okay, I do know why, it's because I care about them. But I don't know why I do...

All things they've done to hurt me... and I still want to be friends?

And nothing I try works very well. If indeed at all.


You know, it used to be that whenever I saw someone emotionally... just blah, I'd want to help them out.

I guess I still do.

But something inside me has gone away.

I don't have that desire anymore. It used to be... I knew exactly what was going to happen with my life. I was going to serve a mission, I was going to come home and get married sometime.

And then I met a girl, and we wrote and wrote and wrote each other... and the things she said led me to believe she was as serious as I. And then I came home, and we met in person. And I guess I did not live up to her expectations or whatever.

Because now... she doesn't talk to me, much, any more.

And I think that's why part of me has gone away...

It's been too much... for things that don't last. I suppose the memories do... but there really haven't been that much. Just the letters and the tapes. I've still got those, but I haven't read or listened to any of them.

I look at all of my friends... and except for one (simply because of extenuating circumstance that's completely understandable. You know who you are...) all of the people I know... in order to keep any contact with them, it's got to come from me. I have to make all this effort to call, or e-mail, or write or anything. And pretty soon the contact just... dies. And then I have to go at it all over again.

I mean, maybe the problem is me? I don't know. If it is, I'd sure like to know.

But most people I know... they just don't show they care, if they do care.

one girl I've talked to on the phone a few times, and each time something will come up and "hey can I call you back in 5 minutes?" well sure, that's fine. Except it doesn't happen. I never get a call back. Not 5 minutes, not 5 hours, not 5 days.

Another girl keeps saying "I've gotta call you some time" but never does.

Another friend, she was supposed to write me every week for about three months... but she didn't.

This list could go on... but I won't.

Really, with everyone I know, or talk to, or care about... Nobody really shows that they care. Well... they show how they care. And it's not much. But the sad thing is that the people who do ever show they care at all... they don't have anything to say. It's like

her: hey
Me: hey! How are you?
her: good, you?
Me: peachy keen :)
her: as always, lol.

Me: so... how was your day?
Her: good
Her: yours?

You get the drift. Sometimes it ends before it's started.

But the bottom line is that I try so hard to keep friendships up, and try to make new ones... but none of them last. They all just drift away. I guess I'm just not a friendly person anymore, I'm not one that people can care about when they get to know me better? I don't know.

I just don't know any more and I'm tired of all of it.

"The only girl a boy can trust/ is his guitar." - Lucero My Best Girl


Saturday, February 24, 2007

I learned how to weld in a dream last night. Except for one thing, it wasn't real. Lol. I don't know, really, if you can weld like that... it was a weird dream, that's one thing I know. Sooooo weird!

Friday, February 23, 2007

bitterness in my soul...

This sony ericsson phone... yeah, it needs to be hurt painfully. Why is that, you ask? Because, dear reader, it doesn't play mp3s. That's right. No mp3 ringtones.

And that makes me emo.

So on myspace they have this ad for this gambling company that's sponsoring a boxing match in St. Petersburg. But they try to use these "russian" letters (backwards R, small b) that, if it were to be read in russian... would come out nothing like St. Petersburg.

Sad, really. It makes me laugh just a little.

And the comedian Borat used the russian D for an A... of course is name would be more like Voyedt or something along those lines.

Pretty sad.

Now I have to study for a test...

have a great day


p.s. keep it up jessie!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

So it's a nice day today, I think, hey, I should bring my skateboard to campus, so I can be lazy and make it around a little faster, right?

That's all fine and dandy except for one little problem.

After my 2nd class I went back to my car, got my board, and headed to the Student Center for work, my bag on my back, an apple in one hand and my cup 'o soup type deal in my other hand.

So I'm rollin along... Now let's say you're with one of your friends, and you see someone skating towards you. What do you do? Go off to the right with your friend, right? Okay, now you have two friends? Go off to the right again? That's what I'd do... that's not what some random chick did. She zigged and zagged (hello? This is america, we go to the RIGHT)... and I hit some hole because I had to go in the middle of the sidewalk, and I planted the ground, half crushing my apple, exploding my soup thing. Well, there was still some soup in there, so that was OK, and my apple was OK... So I get up and head to work. I was worried about my phone, but I pulled it out and it didn't look damaged...

And then I went to class after work, and needed to look at a calendar. And guess what? My main screen was broken. I was, and still am a little peeved by it. Jerks! Don't think you'll be helpful by moving off the sidewalk! I know exactly where you are, and I'm NOT GOING TO RUN INTO YOU! Sheesh.. so I'm a little tired & cranky...

And I still have one more class... I hope things work in that class :P

later - Me

I had an extra-long cheese coney w/mustard and onions from Sonic last night. I failed to be impressed, and I should've just stuck with the strawberry milk-shake. Oh well.

It re-appeared this morning in more ways than one. The first was another weird dream, but I'm not going to tell you that yet. The second was my mouth tasted like onions... old onions. And mustard. Yum! (or not)

The dream was rather peculiar... I don't entirelyremember the first bit, only that we were trying to get through this intersection, but each one we went to, they kept on closing off. Jerks. And who "they" were, I'm not sure, but I think they were some highway department type people. Well, somehow we got to this persons house, I'm not sure exactly who's house it was, either. But it had something to do with there was a porch, something something.

Well, for some reason we had to get rid of this massive revolver, so we... broke the hammer. It was probably a lot easier in my dream than real life. It snapped with little effort, as well as some other destruction to the handle of this gun. It was probably a .50 Magnum (think Raising Arizona). Well anyway, this old guy had driven us and was supposed to be headed home. Well I guess it was supposedly dangerous around there, and I said something like "Man I wish we had waited to break this in case someone tried anything, I could pick them off." We were up on the porch, about 6' higher than this guy, and oh, bout 100' away - across the road & a bit. Well, for some reason we don't go inside the house, but we do watch the guy drive away safely, and then somehow we're on the other side of the house. See, we started on the south side of the house, then we were around the northwest of the house. Well some shifty looking character came around the SW corner of the house.

Some comments ensued about this guy being some type of cocaine addict, and this guy at first tried to get in the house, then to run and we herded him around the south part of the house to the east side of the house. Somehow there were comments and what-not, the guy wasn't(?) a druggie, and we were just stereotyping... and then I'm trying to be more forgiving and understanding but he really was(?)... it was all very confusing.

A lot like where the "coney" of my chili cheese coney was.

There wasn't much of a hot dog on there.

Well... third time it's shown up, and I have to go.


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Also, grrr! You two got "No day like Today" or whatever the heck that song is stuck in my head! You and your AMVs!


*cracks a grin* no... I'm not telling you what crossed my mind because you had problems with it when I mentioned the last time.


and I still haven't looked for the daisy dukes comment...

So tired, 5 browns rocked, oh man, insane, be up in 6 hours, I'm gonna die.

ttyl - Wayne

Do I really write too much? If so, that would be a sad thing.

I write what's on my mind, so it has a place to go. Because when it's inside my mind, it bounces around, getting into all sorts of trouble... like the "miss me" comment.

I don't ever claim that what goes on in my mind is 1) sane, 2) safe, 3) clean, 4) intelligent, or anything else pleasant, generic, or inoffensive.

Mostly the things that go on are really REALLY weird. Some things I do edit a little, or a lot (like some of my dreams... dude, I'm not even going to GO there! Maybe if I had someone I trusted 100% totally and completely and was accepting, yadda yadda...) but for the most part you get the raw, juicy details.

In other news, I read part 4, the conclusion of the poem... and I have to say that's so sad. Of course, one doubts any but three people have access/really read that poem/know who it is/is about... but hey.

That kinda reminds me of something... I guess. It's related... but I used to be so concerned about wanting someone and needing someone, and having them want/need me back. It would still be nice... but I really don't think about it as much anymore. I just do my thing.

I'm sure someday it'll happen. Maybe it's someone I've never met... maybe it's someone I know right now... I really don't know. I mean in the people I know I see the ability... not so much the probability, mainly because I think I probably want too much. But heck, maybe there's a girl who wants the challenge, and they think I'll be fun enough or worth it somehow.

But it's time for me to go see the 5 Browns! w00t!

ttyl - Wayne


This week - good weather around here - 60s & 70s... okay, so it's gonna rain two of the days this week... but still, it's gonna be in the 60s!!! w00t!

That makes me delightfully happy!

we now return you to your boring, regular programming

-WJW, signing off

Monday, February 19, 2007

So today I basically took charge of our Oral Comm project where we have to develop a culture. It's going to be kinda a reverse music society?

Pretty weird...

but yeah...

No one else was really taking charge, so I kinda did... it's amazing that even getting older, people don't get any more self-confident around their peers. At least not really.

So that leaves me to be the one to take over...

Hopefully I do OK... and don't get people a) mad at me or b) to fail.

Well, we'll see.

Music Appreciation starts at 3... as far as I know. I might go up in a few, just to make sure...

Later - Wayne

So I had some screwy dreams last night.

One was mostly off topic, the other one was kinda a continuation of a really weird dream.

I've been having these dreams where I'm somewhere else - Idaho or somewhere west, and I'm supposed to be getting home, but I can't. Like I was supposed to be flying... and I guess I missed my plane or something. Anyway, I'm supposed to be getting home, but I'm not, and there's this highway system - the MOHELA highway system, and I just haven't gone on it yet.

And the current mainly off-topic dream was I was at this cruise/hotel thing, there was a buffet... and there were some people I knew, although I can't remember who they were. They were either someone from school (I don't think so), Church (maybe), or YPT. Anyway, quickly it cut from that scene to the pool, where I was swimming with a girl who is now married and never wants to talk to me again. It would be inappropriate, since we used to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I was kinda manipulative. (Her words, not mine).

Yeah, it was sad, it still is sad... and there's still nothing that I can or feel I should do about it. But it's still stupid to me.

Oh well. I hope she has a nice life and a happy one with her beau, and none of the problems that her parents have are repeated by her.

Well anyways, it was a pretty weird dream. It involved underwater acrobatics. That this girl and I did. Nothing spectacular, just doing that flip thing, where you try and do a front flip in the water. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. And randomly some of the kids from the Charter school were there... it was all a weird dream.

Basically if you take everything that's happened to me in the past 2.5 years, condense it to 30 minutes in a random sort of way, cut 5 minutes out and play it, that's what you would get.

My mind is weird.

Did I ever tell you how I figured out I could dream? I really don't ever dream and remember it but I can almost 100% guarantee... if I wake up and have to go pee, and just go back to sleep instead of go to the bathroom, I'll dream.

Weird, huh?


Sunday, February 18, 2007

So I just listened to Rent - Another Day, and guess what it reminded me of.

Yep. The AMV by Stiny. Well... I guess technically you could call it an amv, even though it was from Kingdom Hearts, and not really an anime... eh, whatever.

In other news, I think my sucking on my facial hair has given me an underbite. Is that stupid or what? lol.

But seriously, it hurts to clamp my jaw shut normally. If I just relax my teeth hit each other in the front, instead of clamping normally. If not that, there is also because of my weird sleep habits, I wake up and my jaw is all locked up.

So yeah... weird stuff.

I'm a bit hungry...

Later - wayne

So... I'm still sick.

But my friends did update their blogs, so that's darn cool. Hooray ^_^ that brings an extra spot of sunshine into my day.

Sooo, my throat is still sore, and that's sad.

One of my friends (and her friend?) were playing in M$Paint and made... an... interesting pic from my myspace pic.

I might post it sometime.

in other news - I have my 2nd in-class writing assignment for Dr. Taylors class on Wed/Fri. I'm kinda looking forward to that.

I'm gettin to be pretty tired... I blame it on my sickness.

But we've got church today, so I'm excited for that.

Mostly I'm rambling...

I read part 3 of a poem that one friend wrote about a guy she knows...

I remember those days, when I was around that age, and "in like". Hopeful and fantasizing that something wonderful would happen, and she'd magically fall in love with me and we'd live happily ever after. So far that hasn't happened. I don't really know if I can say what's best to do... probably, if I could go back now, I'd tell them I thought they were cool, and ask for their phone number. But I'm not entirely sure, because, sometimes... I'm a jerk. Plain & simple. I'd rather spend time doing "me" things - things that I like - than doing things other people do. Not all the time, but sometimes. Specifically any time that what they're doing is not enjoyed by me at all.

Random note, I did have fun playing Go on Thursday with a couple of kids in class. It's a rather fun game... I really want my own Go set.

First thing I want though is a compressor for my airbrush, so I can learn HOW to airbrush - some techniques & all that.

Because that's something I can make money with. So I'm trying to focus some hobbies on things I can sell.

So if anyone is thinking of getting me a nice or combine w/someone else to get me a b-day present in august, or an anytime present (assuming I don't pick one up on my own, first) - either this or this would be a good choice.

That would pretty much rock my socks off, and after learning to airbrush some, I would most definitely airbrush something coolness for whoever got it for me.

Well... that's about it for now... hope everyone is doing well.

ttyl - Wayne

Friday, February 16, 2007

I must release some severe frustration.

So I'm trying to fix this iPod shuffle I have... the problem being a ribbon cable is broken.

Well there exists some item(s), silver glue or paint that you can use to paint over traces...

There's just one problem.

I can't find ANYONE who has it online - radioshack, or any auto parts store (used for the rear window defroster).

Nothing, nowhere, nohow, and it's really getting on my nerves! Grrrr!!

Well, I'm done with that now...

off to work at the SC.


So I find it peculiar...

As I'm randomly looking for people on MySpace, I click on this one girl, and go to her site. In her "books" section, it said "b-i-b-l-e, yes that's the book for me". In all of her "clubs", she had these Christian groups.

And her background? Scantily clad women. Bikinis, Daisy Dukes, barely shirts at all...

I don't know, maybe she never thought of it or can reconcile that somehow.

Myself, I can't see anything but a glaring contradiction.


I'm still sick... and I think I might want to play some guitar.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

We interrupt your normal programming with this special news bulletin!

If your Peter Pan PB # on the lid says 2111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX then it's bad... oh so bad. Salmonella bad. So they're recalling it.

And now back to your regular scheduled programming.

So I was sick today. Also, I worked. I didn't see my friend today, which is sad. But life happens, I guess. For some reason I have the school-kid phrase "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" stuck in my head. Yeah, weird, I know.

I had something mildly intelligent to say. We have the deadly PB in our house... scary!

Sickness is not fun. Oh, that was it! Bp, good job ^_^

snark pits. I'm cold and tired and sick... so I'm going to bed. I hope you're better off than I am.

-Sick and psyc0.

p.s. Fun Dip is cool... Mmmm, fun dip. thx.

So I woke up this morning. Sick.

And I'm going to sub today, too.

It should be a good day.

I like my friends.


p.s. Jessie update your blog! >:(
p.p.s Brandie, update your blog! :P

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I worry about days like today.

They're an example of the gross commercialism of our society as a whole.

We have the companies who tell our women that we don't love them if we don't buy them completely useless, overpriced junk. I won't go into the religious aspect of this day...

My personal feeling is that this is not a useless "holiday" but it's actually a dangerous one. I think the common conception is that, as males, we don't have to be romantic except for three times a year. 1) Anniversary, 2) Her birthday, 3) Valentines Day.

My personal belief is that is a huge pile of dung. I would rather be romantic on every day of the year except for today. I have no problems with the anniversary/b-day thing, just the commercial aspects of those, too.

I'm more of the philosophy that we should be romantic, just because we can. Not because a certain card company has told us we have to, or else. But because we love the person we're being romantic with. That's the whole idea. Romance is part of love (don't confuse love with romance, it's not the same thing at all), and it's simply another way to show "I love you, I want you, I need you". An expression of continued physical attraction and desire for that person.

That's also why I don't believe in being very romantic before I'm married... you can get it too much trouble that way.

Anyways, have a wonderful day,
Your Valentine.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

In case you were thinking about me...

today was pretty good - did homework, watched Elf, played guitar. And now to bed...

I don't remember if I posted here, but I GOT AN A ON MY AM. NAT. II Test!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!

It's a pretty tough class.

I was one of the few (only one?) in my class with an A on that test... yeah... it rocked.

Well, ttyl,

From WordNet (r) 2.0 :

n : the calculated use of violence (or threat of violence)
against civilians in order to attain goals that are
political or religious or ideological in nature; this is
done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear
[syn: act of terrorism, terrorist act]
(see dict.org

This is my proposition.

SPAM be declared as commercial and individual terrorism, on the basis that it uses coercion, at times intimidation, and often fear, to accomplish its goals of commercial gain.

Worse than those who believe that their acts are for the betterment of a people or society, these spam-ists do nothing but exploit the private citizens and companies of the world for their selfish gains. This is a war that we CAN win, by education and surgical military strikes. I think if we are able to determine that over 25 e-mails of an unsolicited nature, employing fear, intimidation, and coercion, the person deemed responsible for such atrocities should be held, not only physically responsible, but for every recipient, he should be held liable for no less than $1,000 USD, as well as reparations to general identity thefts for the amount of $100,00 USD.

Holding them to such strict standards will hopefully discourage these spam-terrorists. This, also, is a war that would win the support of not only the citizens of the United States, but the world over, indeed, any human being with an ounce of decency and a computer will shout for joy at the simple idea of such an idea coming to fruition. I'm sure even the United Nations wouldn't hem and haw over such a serious threat to all free people!

Workers of the world, Unite!

Monday, February 12, 2007

This is kinda me, only without the loose morals.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Okay, that's freaking sweet.

I just learned some russian...

Now I wanna try reading some more!

sooooo cool...


My desire

I was thinking about it just now, so I felt like blogging it. Because that's what this blog is all about - the things that are inside my mind. Good, bad, scary, weird... just the random things I think about - hence "hidden depths where many fear to tread". It's not just a neat saying.

I was thinking about... girls. Or more specifically, my lack thereof. Okay, let's back it up even a bit further so I... well it won't make sense, but at least you might understand better? Who knows.

As I was walking into my room, on the huge stack of books in my closet, I happened to notice the title of one of them. The Memory Book by Harry Lorrayne and Jerry Lucas. One of the very neatest books EVER. It teaches you how to train your memory. That's very very useful, IMHO. Well it triggered in my mind the desire to really put to use the techniques. But you see, I'm sort of a co-dependent. I don't like to do things on my own. Oh, sure, I can, but I don't like to. I want someone (even if it's a friend with no... more-than-friend type interests)that I can go through The Memory Book with and learn and apply the principles. I think that would be the neatest thing.

Even better I'd like someone who is in at least one of my classes, but I'll settle for just someone who's a friend. I want someone I can (and do) talk about school and classes with. I want someone who shares a lot of my same interests, but also likes her own things. Better yet, I want someone who loves to learn. Learn things that I like to do, loves to learn other things. And loves to have me learn the things she loves. I want someone who loves being with me.

I want someone who is active, both body and mind. I want someone who can not only tell me I'm wrong, but tell me in a way that I love to hear it. I want someone who tells me if I'm not treating her the way that I should. I want someone who loves God and will tell me when she sees that my actions are incompatible with that relationship.

I want someone who loves to smile and loves to laugh. Especially one who loves to laugh at some ridiculous things. Usually me laughing for random reasons. I want someone who can share my mirth when something strikes me as funny. Mostly because it's usually for an unrelated reason, and most people wouldn't understand it, and if they did, they wouldn't think it was funny at all.

I want someone who can laugh at herself and can laugh at me, and does on a daily basis. I want someone who can remind me to laugh at myself, to not take me so seriously. Because seriously, I'm not that important. And I need reminders of that.

I want someone who understands that when I tell her how I feel, it's exactly that - how I feel. It doesn't and won't dictate my actions (usually). For instance, I'm a pretty jealous dude. I see girls with other guys and it just makes me go 'grr' inside. And I've told one girl that... and she got all.. I don't know. But I want someone who can reassure me, and at the same time tell me that I'm a goober. Sure I probably know that either I don't own her, or that she won't leave me high and dry... but I'd like some reassurance. It helps.

I want someone who loves music as much as I do. Someone who loves to play music, listen to music, make music, sing music... someone who inspires music and everything else. Someone I can make music with. Someone who, we don't have to have music to dance to, we make our own music.

I want someone that I can talk to about anything or nothing. I want someone who talks to me about anything and nothing. I want someone that we don't have to talk, just being there is comfortable.

I want someone who loves languages and wants to learn new languages. I want someone to make up a language with.

I want someone I can trust. Someone I can trust with my life, with my possessions, but most important, someone I can trust with my love. Right now I don't know of anyone I can trust with that. I've been robbed of my love so many times... I don't know that anyone exists that I can trust with all of this.

So for now, I just live my life, doin' all the things I can...

And hope.

Hope that one day... I'll find her.

Or more likely she'll find me...

Because I just don't know where to look.


So, I feel like creating a post this morning, but I don't have a whole lot to post about.

Well, I suppose I could go off about this one thing...

There's this initiative that they're trying to pass, but really only facetiously, to require you to have kids within three years after marriage. Really the only reason is because they're whining that the Supreme Courts have upheld a ban on same-sex marriage.

Now, here's my take. I think that initiative is pretty stupid. Okay, sure they want people to think about it, but that really puts it in a negative light. They're not trying to promote same-sex marriage as a good thing, they're trying to redefine "traditional" marriage. Actually, I think the best way a judge could defeat this is simply use the argument that a "womans body is her own", since that's already an accepted "fact" from Roe vs. Wade. That should effectively allow them to shoot down the initiative without having to address it as having any type of validity. If they DO pass the initiative, however, anti-abortionists should be cheering, because they could take that initiative and shoot holes through Roe vs. Wade.

Now my personal opinion is that same sex relationships are pretty screwed up. That's how I feel about them. Not just on a moral/religious ground (actually I'm more inclined to support them from that basis...), but on an emotional/psychological ground. Until someone can show me that you can be really well adjusted and be homosexual (oh, random tidbit, I heard a few years back some people were trying to get that term labeled non-PC...)then I really don't have any support for it. But I also believe that people can pursue happiness however they'd like as long as that happiness does not interfere with the happiness and well being of others. Hence, I don't support same-sex relations having/adopting children, on a psychological basis.

But let's say you're in a same-sex relationship and you want the tax benefits of marriage. What other reason would you want the title? If someone really has some other reason they've heard, let me know.

So you want the tax breaks. Well, this is what you do. Find some opposite gender couple that you get along with and marry them! Heck, live in the same house or whatever if you'd like, it really doesn't matter. But if you did, then you'd get the tax breaks, and let's say you wanted children - well there you go! And really, no one should be able to complain about it from a legal perspective. Only morally could people argue against it. My personal feelings are that anyone who grew up in a household like that would be seriously... messed up emotionally, but that's something that you'll have to deal with.

I don't condemn you for what you do, how you act, or how you feel. But let's try to keep some perspective... they're your problems, and you need to deal with the problems specific to YOU. Don't push the blame around, please.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

So it seems as humans we enjoy big round numbers. Like 2000. Or 50. Or 100.

They're all big and round.

Also, Breyer's strawberry ice cream is pretty good. But not as good as vanilla... or A&W Root Beer Float! Oooohhhhhhhh... yeah, that's good stuff.


In my history class, there's a map, and Canada is put down (1914) as "Dominion of Canada"... I just thought that sounded way cool... it's like... Dominion of Canada dun duhn daaaaaaaah! eh!


yay Canada.


You know what rocks?

Yeah, my ticket was rescinded! w00t!

Yeah, so that's way cool.

Also, what's sad is that only bots talk to me on myspace :(

Oh well.

Gunslinger Girl rocks.



Friday, February 09, 2007

First off...

I guess myspace decided I'm gay because I haven't been clicking the true ads... so they gave me dudes. Yuck.


Holy Freak! It worked!!

I sent some people in Idaho a letter.. and THEY GOT IT!!! haha... it's a longer story than that but I'm playing guitar, see? so yeah...



First off...

I guess myspace decided I'm gay because I haven't been clicking the true ads... so they gave me dudes. Yuck.


Holy Freak! It worked!!

I sent some people in Idaho a letter.. and THEY GOT IT!!! haha... it's a longer story than that but I'm playing guitar, see? so yeah...




I just finished watching all of my Gunslinger Girl DVDs... AAAA! You can't do that!!! What the heck!

Anime... curse you and your beautiful story lines and cliff hanger endings!! What's up with that, huh???

Yes... needless to say it was awesome but AAAH! It's unresolved and makes me go crazy! aaahhhh! Dang it!

Plus it makes me want to cry. Dang it dang it dang it!!

*mutter mutter*



Oh.. man... heh... heheheh.

Oh dear that was so sad it was funny! I think I may cry...

So you know those trÜe ads I've been complaining about? Well they had this one... you could make this girl do some dances... holy cow it was so pathetic, I had no choice but to laugh.

I mean... really. Imagine, say... well you really can't imagine it, because there really isn't anything like it! I mean, seriously! If you think of a living person, or animal, then it's sad afterwards. But this... it just is BEYOND anything you could be sad about, except for humanity itself, that they would actually go to the site from there.

Man oh man. I might die, that was so funny.


So, I guess I'm just dissatisfied with my life.

As I woke up I was thinking about it, and that's really how I feel. There's just this cycle... I wake up, I go to school, I come home, I do homework, sometimes I do some other things...

But mainly? It's the same stuff, just a different day. I think that's why we have this need for friendship in our lives... but being someone who isn't too big on MAKING friends...

I'm stuff out of luck...

for a few years anyways :P


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

According to Weird Al's blog Taylor Hicks has taken to singing "Do I creep you out?" On his sound checks.

You know who you are.

And you don't creep me out.



My hands are frozen. I didn't have anything real good for lunch, just chips & salsa, but I had to eat them from the back of my car unless I took this HUUUGE bag inside somewhere... then I would have just looked like a dork!

And so now my hands are thawing out.

On the plus side, I got rid of a ton of boogers, the cold and the hot sauce made my nose run like niagra falls. It was pretty awesome.

Oh, great, I can watch her webcam show, but I have to provide a credit card to PROVE I'm 18... Uhhh huh. Also, someone else wants to be my "friend". For the low low price of $19.95 a month, I'm sure.

Allow me to go THROW UP in my MOUTH!


-Sick at UCA

Brrr! It's cold after a shower! But now I'm fresh & clean so that's a good thing.

Yesterday I was told that I look like I'm 35 years old... I have a pretty humorous anecdote along that line...

One summer Chance and I had season passes to Wild River Country. While we were there we met these fairly attractive girls. I was 15 and Chance was 14. We were talking to them and they asked "How old do you think we are?" I think I said 18 or something... I can't remember what Chance said. They laughed and said, "We're 20". Oooh. Right. Well they asked how old WE were, and so of course we had them guess. I forget how old they guessed chance was, but me? I was "at least 25". We looked at each other and BURST out laughing! "No way!" we told them. But they didn't believe us, so I showed her my learners permit, name, age, face... the whole bit. And sure enough I was 15. Oh man it was funny.

Chance kept in contact with them for a while...

ahh, those were the good ol' days.

If you're ever in for a good grossing out, remind me to tell you about when I went from the wave pool to the driftin' river... heh. Hehe... yeah...

-Little ol' moi

So I am either the smart guy you adore, or the crush, not the one you like.

It depends on how much we talk. According to your quiz anyways. Heh.

So I'm awake at 4:30AM, I was actually awake an hour ago, 3:33AM. Pretty awesome, huh? Yeah, I know. I'm just cool like that. I'm pretty hungry. I'll probably eat some oatmeal. Ooh... I hope we have food because otherwise I don't know what I'll be taking for lunch today and that would make me sad in my heart. Probably my nose too, though I really don't know why that would be.

Hmmm... maybe I should write someone a note...

You know, it's so useful to have your own runes/language. You can write things for your own self and no one can really tell what you've written. But it doesn't work the same on here. I suppose if I had a scanner it would be pretty easy because I could scan stuff and then put it on here...


speaking of runes, I know Tolkein's runes, they're useful. Let's see if I can do an ASCII version of my name in his runes... I think I'll have to do it vertically though

| \
| /

| \

| \
| | \
| | |

\ |
| \

|\ /|
| \/ |
| |
| |

So there we go.

I found this rather nifty rune generator.

It's pretty spiffy.

But they don't have MY runes on there, BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Actually there are only 3 people who know my runes, one has probably forgot, the other probably doesn't care so much...

But I'm not going to start thinking about that too much or I'll end out getting all emo and depressed.

Heh.. hehe... heheheh... I just realized... emo people have a use! You can always look at an emo person and say "well, I guess it could be WORSE!" And that should cheer you right up. It sure made me giggle anyways.


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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

So just a little about today.

Did a lot of homework... I hope I don't have much music stuff or anything else tomorrow so I can get all my math lab stuff done.

Some weekend or day off I might just try to get all my math HW done for the year... that would be silly ^_^ lol.

Anyways, so I did that, then I was supposed to go into work, but you already know about that... or you will if you read later(earlier??) posts.

It was a pretty good day, though, I got a little note & some drawings from a friend... cute anime stuff.

Two of my friends hung out in the class I was in for most of the last period... I have to say I was slightly confused on the one hand. On the other hand things were mostly how I could have expected.

Mainly I've realized that I've become a lot more accepting of how people treat me, as long as it doesn't involve money or just being a jerk. Or my possessions.

Good, bad, different than I expected... really anything. I just try and accept people as who they are and what they have to offer, and maybe I can learn something, if not something about me or the world around me, perhaps about them and their world.

But then again, I could just be really tired and this is all rambling. I am really tired and I don't know about the rambling bit. That's my disclaimer. If this is nonsensical or really weird, I'm tired. If it's pure literary genius, that's all me. Lol.

"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything."
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Good words.

-Tired in Maumelle

Ow this burns.

I have some type of cut thing inside my bottom lip... so I'm putting salt on it.

Ow ow ow!!!


Have you ever noticed people never live up to our imagination? Oh, I know you do it too, don't try to pretend you don't. You meet someone, and then you develop in your mind all sorts of things that they are or aren't. Sometimes it's true, but usually we're 100% off the mark.

And it can be dangerous, too. Well the worst example would be a con artist. But I was thinking more along the lines of just normal life. Let's say you meet some boy (or girl) that you think is pretty cute... so this person smiles at you and you get all butterfly-like in your tummy. Well, they say hi, or maybe they don't. You say hi back, but you don't get up the nerve to say anything more than that.

You go home that night and start to think about this person... they're nice, they're polite. They listen to you and laugh at all your jokes and you have the best time. He (or she) confides in you, tells you of his(her) hopes and dreams. Maybe your story has a different twist to it. That all depends on who YOU are. But we all do it.

Then we meet the person and actually get to know them and you know what? They're nothing at all like we thought they would be. It depends on how much our experience is in these things, but usually we're crushed. Or very disillusioned, at least. We think to ourselves "well I wasn't right about this trivial detail, so (s)he must not be a good person at ALL!"

But if we're doing good, that's not how we feel. Or think anyways. We realize that hey, they're people too. My imaginary person doesn't mean that's who that person REALLY is. When we can understand and accept that, and then learn to appreciate people for who they are and their strengths, THEN we're on the right relationship track. I lump any type of relationship together; friend, more than friend, enemy... all of those are relationships.

Learn who people are and care about them for who they are, not who you want them to be... and you'll be OK.

-Personal Experiences. Trust me.

would it be cruel, if you had twins, to name them Thing one and Thing two?

I think that would be the coolest thing. But then again, I'm crazy like that

Also, Gunslinger Girl rocks.

So I was supposed to, from 1:15ish to 5PM, sub. Well now I'm only supposed to sub from 2:40-5:00pm.

Why the discrepancy? Because a teacher thought it was the offices duty to ask HIM if another teacher needed a sub. That's why.

My opinions are rather unsavory, and rather upsetting, and for that reason you won't be reading them here.

-Frustrated Me

Well at 1:15 I'm goin to sub! w00t!!11!!!

Lol... I'm a dork, I know.

Anyways. I have a few things left for HW. I need to do some reading for American Nation, and write some things for Oral Comm. That should take all of 5 minutes though.

And then probably tonight I'll make some habanero salsa stuff... Mmmm, yum! I can't wait ^_^

This time I will remember to not touch my eyes.



This is why Penny Arcade has such a large presence.

That and geeks love their comics.

Dang but that's funny ^_^

Monday, February 05, 2007

Well, today was pretty good. I got my math test back, I got I think an 89%

That's pretty dang good for me and a math class.

So tomorrow if I'm not working I have plenty of homework to keep me busy. Several things to read, and a few things to do.


life. Keeps on moving.

And I'm poor.

and in debt.

I realized the other day I'm actually worth more dead than alive. Seriously.

I have X amount of money in the bank where X is a nonzero positive real number, and I have taken out a student loan in the amount of XY, where Y is another positive real number that is greater than X. So technically I owe XY. Well, if I were to die, XY would be completely forgiven, so X is what I would leave, thereby, I am worth more dead than alive.

Weird, huh?

well I have a few things to do before I zonk out... so yeah...


Run run run! It's time for math class in Main hall! So that means in several moments I will be hiding my tracks and scootin my boots.

Okay, that didn't make any sense to me either.


So I was going to burn this CD for a friend this morning... but I don't actually have time... so after school it will have to be! And I shall probably get it delivered tomorrow!

Well... I've still gotta make my food & things, so I'm gonna have to JUUUUUUUUMMMP!!!!

It's Dangeresque, too?


Sunday, February 04, 2007

Okay... so I'm pretty darn happy right now ^_^

except I need to be asleep here soon. But that's not have anything to do with why I'm so happy.

Let's just say I got a really nice surprise today.

Gunslinger Girl is (to date) my favourite anime. I haven't read any of the Manga, but it would probably be a close tie with Megatokyo.

One of the best "I'm not very happy" songs is by the Plain White T's - Take Me Away. It's especially good for a breakup. Anyway, so if you add two of my favourite things together, made by one of my favourite people, you get favourite^3. And that, my friends, rocks my socks off.

I'm probably gonna go to sleep happy tonight.

To that someone (and you know who you are), thanks.

Times a million.

So today I had my first encounter with the Archos Gmini 402 Camcorder. I was fairly impressed with what I saw. So I looked it up online and found some specs... the only thing that makes me sad is they don't have an expandable SD slot like the Neruos (discontinued) 442 had.


I really liked the Neruos product.

So it's bizarre...

Have you ever noticed how some days you can just be oh so miserable... and then you just see someone or talk to them on the phone and WHEEE! It's like you just took a handful of happy?

I wonder exactly what that is? Scientific? Spiritual? Insanity? Infatuation? Love? All of the above?

Who knows? But it sure is nice when it happens to you.

It's even more delightful when you don't really expect anything or there aren't any expectations of you... it just happens and you enjoy it.

Also, if I wanted to get crazy and start ANOTHER hobby, I could try my hand at making an AMV... but I don't think I really have time to do that... yet.

I'm sad... a sad strange little man.

Well.. actually I'm pretty happy today, but that's another story :-P


So I realized, or rather re-realized something about me and relationships...

I'm not the type of guy who will "fight" for a girl.

Not saying that if a girl was like... attacked or something I wouldn't beat the snot out of the guy.... no nothing like that. Because I would.

But for instance, let's say I like this girl, and I kinda make either friendly or slightly more than friendly advances towards her, and some other guy does, too... and she starts showing interest in him... I pretty much back off. Actually it's pretty much if I'm not reciprocated. And now it's kinda even if I am...

But I blame that on my last failed relationship. Because I expressed all my insecurities - I'm afraid that you'll be just like all my past girls, and just decide I'm not worth it, blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.

Yeah, well, she said 'oh no! I won't be like that! Never, no way no how!' to paraphrase....

well I gave my heart completely to her.

planned on asking her to marry me.

but... I never got that far, because I'm not worth it apparently.

and so I'm honestly not very hopeful that I'll EVER find a girl who suits me.

"Oh sure you will!" You say, but really... you don't even have any idea. Sorry to say it, but you don't.

Out of all the girls that I know... every single last one of them... when I'm truly honest with myself... the only ones I could say have any hope are those that are either too young to have fully formed their opinions and outlooks and desires... okay, that's really it. Of course it could also be that I just don't know them well enough... but really and truly, I don't know anyone who would be suitable.

Unless they're just too young.

So for now... I don't really have anyone that I'm pursuing...

maybe I just don't have the faith...

or maybe they just don't make them like they used to.

Pretty much I'm just outta luck, I guess.


Saturday, February 03, 2007

In debt up to my eyeballs...

So I just finished my student loan & e-signing everything...

And now I am in debt. Great. Just freaking great. *siiiigh*

And I need to get some money to repay my dad for some books... and this that and the other...

Growing up sucks.