Fun With Money!

So... did someone sign a law that states all banks have to be either moronic or devilish? Did I just miss that or something?

So... Bank #1, who shall go un-named, but said name rhymes with Ewe Ess Frank, has the most evil policy in practice that I've ever heard of, when it comes to a savings account.

According to a customer service representative, ANY transaction that requires funds to be removed from my savings account constitutes a withdrawal. That's right - a funds TRANSFER? Withdrawal. Paying off my credit card bill - that goes through the bank? Withdrawal. And did I mention that you're only allowed one withdrawal per cycle, which cycles the 6th business day of every month? After that you're penalized a $1 fee per transaction.

Had I known such a thing, I certainly wouldn't have deposited my $1200 excess aid in that account. The only way it could be more evil is if they required $1 per transaction, period. Then it wouldn't even look at all like they care about their customers. As it is, it doesn't look like they have a care about them, at least not where I'm standing. No one ever told me that a F*ING TRANSFER would be considered a withdrawal! The $0.02 you paid in interest last month is NOT worth this crap. My mattress would penalize me less for banking there.

So... in hopes that bank #2 would not be evil (I used to have a savings account there when the bank rhymed with bluperior), I go to log on - or rather, attempt to log on to my account to see what I could find out.

Instead, the series of "extra security" questions they asked me either a) I didn't remember or b) my answer was invalid, effectively locking me out of my account.

I don't know who the heck my first girlfriend was! It could have been one of several people! I don't know how I spelled my nephews name! And my question? Well, the answer I would have typed just didn't work - several times!

Holy Retards Batman, are people seriously that mentally challenged to fall for something so obviously fake, that this sort of BS "security" is supposed to make them feel any better? Heck, even on the login site it said "feel secure in using your password again" - when did I NOT feel secure? If I wanted extra security, don't you think I would have told them? And yes, I did compose an email telling them exactly how much I enjoyed (or rather didn't) their security theatre.

Stupidity reigns supreme out here in the intarwebs. Unfortunately it used to be possible to ignore it, or go somewhere it wasn't prevalent. Now it's like walking into a high-class 5-star restaurant, and finding they feed you Gerber baby food with a plastic spoon.

And when you try to use the potty on your own, a 750lb gorilla shoves you back down in the seat until you have to use your diaper.

Wow...

I don't know who it was who wrote this:

Anonymous said...

I don't like it that much. couldn't read it without falling asleep. I don't like you the way you want. I am bitterly your FRIEND. I love my boyfriend and hold no feelings for you. Move on. I would appreciate it if you would accept my friendship because that's all I will ever offer to you.

But I have a request for you, even though it's not something you "offer[ed]" me.

Don't tell me who you are, because honestly I don't want to know.

First: Thanks a lot for the critique, .

If you're not going to say anything constructive, you can go die in a hole, please. For instance, a better way to have worded that (You know, one that doesn't make you look like a complete a-hole), would be to say something like this:

Well, I guess I don't like your writing style. You were too wordy and talked too much about the city when really I didn't need all that description. You should trim that down some.

Then I wouldn't feel that you're a total jerk. At least about that.

Then,

I am bitterly your FRIEND.

Gee, I'm oh so grateful that you can be my friend even though you're bitter. You know what? You obviously have grand delusions about what a friend is.

Especially since, as a "FRIEND" you "hold no feelings for [me]."

I hold a boat load of feelings for every one of my friends. I don't consider them friends unless I do.

Now, you might wonder "Why are you being so mean, W-san?"...

I'll give you a hint. This is NOT your house, I did NOT come to YOUR space.

This is MY house, this is MY space, and you should show some courtesy to people when you're in their house. I certainly won't come to your space and tell you that you bore me to sleep, and oh by the way, I'm so much better than you, but you can still "accept my friendship because that's all I will ever offer to you."

Boy I'm SOOOOO glad I can have your friendship

Oops. Typo. I meant to say that if I had any friends like you (and heaven forbid if I had a GIRLFRIEND like you), I would probably have to stab myself in the eyes and drown myself in a vat of acid.

Please don't ever come here again. If you do, please don't tell me it was you. I'd hate to think that anyone I know well enough that they'd post here would be such a stupid jerk. I really hope you weren't anyone I know.

Also, next time you're snogging your boyfriend, I hope you get mono, gonorrhea, and syphilis all at once.

Hmmm... it would appear I hold many "feelings for you". Oh wait, I've let them go now.

In summation, I really only have two words to say to you.

Screw you.

p.s. I hope your boyfriend realizes what a jerk you are and dumps you, I'm sorry that anyone would have to suffer through a relationship with someone who acts like you.

P.s. If you didn't write that quote, please do not believe this is about you. There is one person specifically which is why I copied their comment. The rest of you, the friends who do hold feelings for me... Please don't worry and also I would prefer if you ignored this post if you can. I need to do math but I also want to write more of my story

p.p.s. To YOU, you jerk-head, please don't read any of my writings. Ever again. Also I hope your computer shoots deadly laser beams into your eyes as you read this. Jerk.

p.p.p.s. Perhaps someone has noticed the possible hypocritical nature of this post - writing offensively on how someone else has been offensive. That may be true, but if you notice - I did not seek whoever the heck this is out. I did not call them up, or throw a brick through their window. I simply posted HERE, in MY house, for my benefit, really. I simply needed to vent, that's all.

p.p.p.p.s. If YOU are still reading, that still doesn't mean I want to be your friend. Seriously, whoever you are, you obviously don't know me, want to know me, or care at all. Or maybe you were just severely careless with your words. I was fairly careful and calculating. I could always go back and re-edit... but I don't really feel like that. But I hope my words cut very specific places, and I hope you learn from this lesson.