What Do You Call...

A beautiful human being who has a LOT of potential, but she usually thinks she's not worth much. When she's told how important and beautiful she is, she reacts to these compliments with not gracious acceptance, but sometimes vehement denial, sometimes substituted with "whatever." She is perfectly willing, when she's sad or in any way hurt, to take advantage of the love and compassion shown to her by some male, but unless, and sometimes even when he's really down in the dumps, she will favor the type of male known as "jerkicus maximus", or "abusivus totalaraius". As a matter of fact, she will reject every type of advice, call to action, or plea to get some GOOD specimen, and will instead stay with this type of male. On occasion, she will reject one for the other, or bounce between several different subspecies of these, but she will probably never get a male who treats her right. On occasion she will reject all males in favour of the single life, or even in favor of females, where she will find the exact same treatment she had.

So what do you call this type of person?

Why, the type of girl that I've always loved, of course!

Clarification...

If any of you should ever NEED me - i.e. that jerk that you're with now is abusive and you need somewhere to hide out, You're feeling depressed and more emo than me and want to kill yourself, or anything like that? Yeah, feel free to give me a call/IM/e-mail. I'll be glad to be there for you then... but...

I'm kinda sick of doing oh, so much, and getting nothing in return except for a few hours of company.

Sick of being used, abused, ignored, and all that great stuff.

To you, the one who's pissed off at me and wants to shove me into a locker? Enjoy your life with the guy you love. Or without him, as the case may end out. But I'm done with the games, I really don't have time for them.

Interestingly enough, though, when I saw you at MY school, you were looking as beautiful as ever. It still hurts... well, no need to burden you with how I feel. Don't worry... But please do enjoy your boyfriend or whatever he is. I'd hate to hear that you were unhappy.

To the rest of you? Well, I don't have time for YOUR games, either.

If you want to be a part of my life... the balls in your court now. I'm sick of the games, the pain, the ignoring my needs and desires.

And honestly? Nobody can fulfill those needs and desires. Because I NEED someone at school with me in my classes - but I don't have that. And I won't have that.

Until I get that... I'm pretty much done trying to help YOU. I've got nothing but broken heart after broken heart, trying to be there for you, be there for others... Just trying to be a nice, selfless guy.

Honestly, I think I lost a lotta years doing that.

So... anyway. I hope that helps clarify things.

Take care, and I hope you find happiness wherever you go. The happiness that I've missed...

Done With People...

I'm not doing so hot in school right now.

Why? Because one of my teachers sucks a little, one sucks a lot, and one is pretty good. And I try to interact with people.

In the spring semester of college I got a 4.0. Why? Because I didn't have any friends. They were all dead or had moved away. And I had two days a week to do homework and it worked out pretty well.

Now? Insert major suck-fest here, please.

People I care about and try to please. Trying to actually develop relationships.

And honestly? I'm kinda sick of it. I give to people and what do I get in return? I get ignored for guys who are worse jerks than me. Or times that I have homework I have to do, that's when everyone wants to talk. And so I ignore my homework because I'd rather spend time with people I think care about me.

But then when I need someone to care about me?

Mmmm... ignored, mistreated, or really whatever. It's all SORTS of fun, let me tell you... NOT.

So... please leave me so I can be a whiny emo kid and actually get some work done.

kthxbye

Do You Ever...

Just get tired of people and life in general? The "coy" little games they play?

But why should you get all the fun? The dumb things I do upset me, too.

I'm sick and bleeding tired of these games. I mean, am I still in junior high or something? I try, though, to just... stop interacting with people when they're playing stupid games. At least if I feel they're stupid games.

So if you've noticed I've made no overtures to talk to you in a little while... something you've done has been selfish, stupid, hurtful, annoying, or I just am plain busy.

Mainly though, I'm really sick of life in general. Because I have to interact with people on a daily basis and they all suck. Even me. I try to suck least but I doubt I do.

Meh.

Whatever.

So apparently...

Because I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3 last night, I suck.

Which is pretty much awesome, because it was a really good movie. Definitely not as silly as Spiderman 3. Which is interesting because my sis-in law had some good things to say about Spiderman, but she wasn't a huge fan of the Pirates movies (she hasn't seen 2, and it took her a while to enjoy the first one).

I don't mind saying that really weirds me out - because dude, pirates rock! Yarrr!

Speaking of how much pirates rock - I think it would be totally awesome to get a songbook or something of pirate shanties! So if any of you are ever in a gift-giving mood, or thinking that you want to buy me a birthday present (August 26th is coming!), if you could find something to that tune... I would probably love you more than forever.

On another note...

Airbrushing is COOL!